


Just A Little Faith

by jellyfishandtuna



Series: Small Little Painful Nothings [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M, Memories, Pain, Past Tense, Post Reichenbach, Sorrow, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 20:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishandtuna/pseuds/jellyfishandtuna





	Just A Little Faith

**3:08 am**

John's eyes open. It's been the same for weeks. God, he hasn't had a nightmare like this one in years. Three years, eight months and four weeks but who's counting. There isn't a soft him of a violin filtering through the flat to help calm his nerves. Curling on his side, John curls tight around a pillow. 

He couldn't bare it to move from Baker St. Mrs. Hudson proclaiming that loosing both her boys would break her. John didn't have the heart to see her cry. 

"Another nightmare?"

"Yeah."

John sinks into his chair. Sherlock's back is towards him. The light in the flat are dim. The soft tune helping calm his nerves. 

"Thank you."

It had only taken him a week to figure out why Sherlock felt the need to wake him in such a fashion that early in the morning. It was his way of soothing him. John's head falls against the back of his chair, one last painful tear rolling out of the corner of his eyes as the gentle melody ends.

To almost everyone, Sherlock Holmes was a heartless man, but here in this flat, he was a personal angel. 

Fingers gently run against John's hair. Calming. 

"Let it go. I'm make you some tea." 

John would always just nod. At the time, he had taken Sherlock's little comfort's for granite. Still proclaiming "No Gay" to everyone that he knew. His heart was what betrayed him in the end. The love that these two shared was nothing sexual, it was a need. 

The flooding memory made a smile crack his features. 

"Damn you, Sherlock Holmes." 

John's fist slammed into the mattress before he started blankly into the darkness. 

**3:10 am**

How are you? -MM

_Not good. Terrible dream last night._

Need to talk? -MM

_No. I'm good but thank you._

I'm your friend, John. It's not a problem. - MM

Mary was met several months after the fall. She helped but there was really nothing there. John knew that she possibly loved him, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. His heart however broken, would always beat for Sherlock. John knew himself to be a bloody idiot for not telling him when he had the chance. And he kicked himself everyday for it.

_Does it ever stop hurting?_

Well, considering that you never told him, probably not. - HW

_Not helping, Harry._

It was rare that John reached out to his sister but right now he needed the only family he had left. The seconds seemed to tick away as he waited.

John, I say this out of love. You are going to end up in a grave beside that man if you don't move on. I know it's hard, but you have to try. What about Mary? She seems nice and it's written all over her face that she cares. - HW

John stared at his phone and blinked.

_I'm gay, Harry. She has the wrong equipment._

Oh, now you're gay? Mr. Self professed heterosexual. _ HW

Even through the text, John could feel Harry rolling her eyes. 

_Sod off._

Love you too. - HW

He's been staring at the same blank word document for hours, unable to get the mess of thoughts collected enough to type. Sleep is pointless at this point. 

**11:00 am**

A jacket is grabbed, covering the cream colored jumper. The one that Sherlock loved the most. John has to get out of the flat and clear his mind. 

"This is my note."

"Sherlock."

"Isn't that what people do. Leave a note?"


End file.
